Becoming Re-acquainted with yourself is beautiful

Being fifty (50) comes with some great surprises. The willingness to accept growth as it comes is exciting. Not having to apologize for it is fantastic! I set out after turning 50 to bring more meaning to areas of my life where i wanted to improve my out put. I have been sharing my new life with so many amazing people.

Leslie K. Hammond is my spiritual healer. She’s a very amazing, extraordinary woman who has written some great books on healing from the inside out. Her newest is Women Rising, launched just in time for Anne Garland’s 5th Annual Circle of WomenWoman rising in October 2013.  So go out and pick up a copy!  Its great reading!  Now on to my story… of sorts

Becoming Re-acquainted with yourself is beautiful

In the Summer of  2013,  I met some people who I believed to be some of the most kindest people I have ever met. I made the choice to continue those friendships through out the remainder of the year and into this new year.  Some people walk into your life to teach you something, and others walk in wanting for something. There is still a lesson in those meetings……

I have always believed we meet people for a reason and a lesson. And if we are keen enough, patient enough the lessons will come. And come they did!

Because of who I am, and the choices that I made to venture down a particular path, I had to learn the lesson of patience.  Which I really sucked at! If you don’t mind me saying….

As I waited, anticipating the end result of something I thought would beautiful, I came to realize that I waited for months for something that was never meant to be. Why? Because of how it began…. No matter how truthful our hearts, and desires may be  – somethings are just meant to just be.  That’s lesson number one…

The second lesson I learned was about sharing. For the first time in my life I learned to let go and share who I really was with someone who I had just met.  There was something about the person,  that I felt compelled and comfortable enough with them to be able to share myself. (It was strange at first…)  I shared my hopes, dreams, desires and all those things that people are afraid to share with another. I felt like God had given me a gift… I could tell them anything. God – Goddess and I have a great relationship. Yes, I speak of both. I love the fact that I can relate to both the Estrogen, and the on coming of a little Testosterone. 🙂

Anyway, what I know to be true is that in each of us there is a sacred space.  It’s sacred for reasons that only each of  us knows. It’s that part of the soul that not many people get reach. One day I made the decision to open that sacred space and allow another to share a part of me that no other person had. I gave away that special part of myself. That sacred space.  I had or have no regrets. I am free to just be.  It allowed me enhance my love of people. People who represent what is good in the other. I believe that we must love in the deepest and most purest way possible. So my reasoning made sense. To be able to open that space and share allowed me to love a perfect stranger.  I shared my life with them. (They were no longer a stranger to me) What I found in return was priceless!  I found ME all over again. So many people would have given something away they could never get back – their respect. I kept mine, and so much more.  By staying true to me, I knew there  was enough truth and love in me to sustain a friendship and having no regrets.

I am not perfect, but I believe in being truthful to the point of having people exit from my life intentionally. Not because, I don’t like them, it’s that I love them enough to say goodbye when it was time.  This friend, walked into my life not only teaching me something but wanting something in return. What I got was a real lesson in LIFE. And it’s all about Time!

The Story goes like this…. – Well….it’s time. You made it time. Your actions made it time. When you find yourself making excuses.. it’s time. When you find yourself talking the same talk and your walk is missing it’s gait it’s time. When you having a reverberation of a previous conversation it’s time.  The important thing here is that if you can’t be truthful with yourself….who can you be truthful with?  Timing is everything…

Lesson number three….. Sometimes we see things, we want to see in people, but as we continue to grow we learn to see the truth in people.  I am thankful for that truth because it allowed me to see the real YOU.  A friend told me once that  I was to good for some people. They were right. Loving you allowed me to see that. The saddest part is that so many  people go through life playing games with their lives and others. They miss the message… that love (In its purest form) was knocking at their door and they didn’t answer.  Friendships are so important. 

I have come to realize, that of all the places I have been,  have lead me to be where I am today. I moved into this new town 4 months ago and the other day I recognized a place I had been some 15 years ago. I love when that happens. It tells me, I am where I am meant to be.

Six months ago I visited a new place….It was just for a moment. One moment that I would give anything to have again.  Perhaps in time…..but its not now. And I know that.

I am settling in to a new kind of life… and it’s mine.

Peace,

Camilla

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A Revelation of Sorts – The Woman in Mother Earth is speaking

The Woman in Mother Earth is speaking…..

I wake up early with my creative mind working to bring the next message of someone’s life … To life. As a producer I get a lot of work that comes across my desk. I can’t produce them all for they don’t speak to my soul. However what I can do is produce the one that will have the most impact on the world. For its ripples will be forever felt in the ones who leave the theater and change the life of another.

The essence of my creation is the extension of my truth. I can’t wake up every morning and live a lie. I must live my truth. 

When I gave into my passion I came into my purpose. You must be able to tell the truth, live the truth and still face life when others don’t agree.

There will be those moments when others will try and take your truth and twist it for their purpose and gain. Let it go and let it be.

My life isn’t perfect. I am not perfect. But my creativity is that in which I allow my spirit to be free and untainted of another’s thoughts and wishes.

I believe in divine guidance. I am blessed to be able to see people through a lens that once frighten me. That which I thought was a curse became the blessing.

I believe there is a force of energy much greater than we are. In fact we are energy! We must use that energy for that which is good. Even when it means that you leave behind that which no longer serves the greater good of your purpose.

Not everyone was meant for your purpose but they came to teach you a lesson about YOU!    Something you need to LEARN about YOU.

As I mentioned last week in my thoughts….You can pretend and you can lie but your only hurting you.

Have you ever heard the phrase…. It’s not about you…. It’s about something much bigger than you?

It’s true!         How do I know?

I was born 1 pound 15 ounces in 1963. (Yes it’s true)….

If there isn’t something much bigger than me/us – then Houston we have a problem… (Smiles) My spirit lives to know the wonders of the universe.

I love Mother Earth, her splendor and her grand magnificent beauty.  She provides that I may live.

Producing the works in which I do have a direct connection and reflection on my love for her. I have shed layers of grief upon her but she continues to give back to me that in which I seek to know about her. I am helping to sustain Mother Earth….my way.

They say we should stay in the Present but I get excited about the future. For I believe that I can affect it. I continue to shed that which is no longer needed and giving into that which sustains me.

In 2015 a production about Mother Earth, US and life comes to life.

Peace,
Camilla

My Season is Now

My season is Now… Have you ever heard that? I heard it today as I spoke those words.

Each day I am reading and learning something new and interesting that our country says or does. I am constantly reminded of our failed policies in regards to culture and other life issues.

My life has changed in so many ways. I am constantly reviewing and changing the way I look at people and the opportunities that have come my way.

As I look into a new chapter in my life I am reminded of my past and how far I have come. I am looking forward to moving in new directions with those in tow who share in whatever is real in the very moment that we meet.

I can’t pretend that people who have energy, and are moving in a direction of things that I adore doesn’t move me.  It does! I am becoming more aware of who I am as a person and where I want my life to go. I am lending my heart and mind to asking through prayer where I should be.

I feel that we are called to love no matter what the consequences.  The desires that I have continue to move in a direction that my heart says it needs to.  I won’t pretend that I don’t feel that desire. I do. I continue to ask myself the question…. Am I being true to me? The me that keeps challenging herself with life’s complexities on love, compassion, and really getting to know a person. I am a lover of culture and all things that affect the human condition. How could I not love another so deeply as to want to change their condition. Even if it’s for a moment.

My season is NOW to try and experience LIFE in a whole new way.  We can ask ourselves the questions about life – we may not always get the answers to that experience. Can you love more than one person in different ways? Can you reach across the cultures and pull in a whole new perspective on love? The desires of our hearts can and will be complex. I am willing to risk what I feel to be true to me to find out the answers to my questions.

I am very human and I feel that being human comes with its faults, questions and its challenges.  I am no longer afraid to set out and see for myself.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the another’s plight – its just that I feel my purpose has a journey, and my journey is connected to a purpose that I am just becoming to understand for myself.  Part of my Journey is to affect the human condition in a positive way.

The attraction to people or a person should come from within. It must be something that moves you to act in a certain way. That your actions will become second nature and you will continue to love regardless of the consequences. On this journey I am also beginning to understand that sometimes what’s positive for me – may not be for another and somehow in that lesson of life – the experience will right itself for the other person.

I certainly cant say that all I do will be right, by another person but I can say that all I do will be right by my heart.  My heart has always dictated, and even when the lessons I experience in life where hard ones. I didn’t take away from my journey of learning about love and how that affects us as people.

I believe that love in its purest form should always be the end result of our actions.

Some people may equate lust with love – but I don’t believe that they are the same thing.  It is said that 6 people separate us from each other.  That’s pretty close if you ask me.  We are all connected and it’s through that connection that we driven to love. What attracts us to another is sometimes interesting to a fault. It poses questions that no one can answer.

Something As Simple As Energy Can Draw You In To A World That You Never Thought You Would Experience.

As I turn 50…. I am reminded that my SEASON is NOW. I won’t wait to experience that of which my heart so desire’s. Who knows if I will live to experience that moment again? I am allowing my soul to be open to what comes. I will let myself be free, letting my guard down and allowing life to take me where It needs to.

I just want to be… me    Whatever that is in this moment. With no regrets….

I want to be able to know someone fully for who they are. Allowing them be who they are on their journey. Besides…. Who am I to change their journey in life? I am just learning mine at 50! I am excited to be turning that age, where I believe that life will change in a way that I am not expecting. It will change and I will change with it but with Grace in tow.

 

Peace,

Camilla