Becoming Re-acquainted with yourself is beautiful

Being fifty (50) comes with some great surprises. The willingness to accept growth as it comes is exciting. Not having to apologize for it is fantastic! I set out after turning 50 to bring more meaning to areas of my life where i wanted to improve my out put. I have been sharing my new life with so many amazing people.

Leslie K. Hammond is my spiritual healer. She’s a very amazing, extraordinary woman who has written some great books on healing from the inside out. Her newest is Women Rising, launched just in time for Anne Garland’s 5th Annual Circle of WomenWoman rising in October 2013.  So go out and pick up a copy!  Its great reading!  Now on to my story… of sorts

Becoming Re-acquainted with yourself is beautiful

In the Summer of  2013,  I met some people who I believed to be some of the most kindest people I have ever met. I made the choice to continue those friendships through out the remainder of the year and into this new year.  Some people walk into your life to teach you something, and others walk in wanting for something. There is still a lesson in those meetings……

I have always believed we meet people for a reason and a lesson. And if we are keen enough, patient enough the lessons will come. And come they did!

Because of who I am, and the choices that I made to venture down a particular path, I had to learn the lesson of patience.  Which I really sucked at! If you don’t mind me saying….

As I waited, anticipating the end result of something I thought would beautiful, I came to realize that I waited for months for something that was never meant to be. Why? Because of how it began…. No matter how truthful our hearts, and desires may be  – somethings are just meant to just be.  That’s lesson number one…

The second lesson I learned was about sharing. For the first time in my life I learned to let go and share who I really was with someone who I had just met.  There was something about the person,  that I felt compelled and comfortable enough with them to be able to share myself. (It was strange at first…)  I shared my hopes, dreams, desires and all those things that people are afraid to share with another. I felt like God had given me a gift… I could tell them anything. God – Goddess and I have a great relationship. Yes, I speak of both. I love the fact that I can relate to both the Estrogen, and the on coming of a little Testosterone. 🙂

Anyway, what I know to be true is that in each of us there is a sacred space.  It’s sacred for reasons that only each of  us knows. It’s that part of the soul that not many people get reach. One day I made the decision to open that sacred space and allow another to share a part of me that no other person had. I gave away that special part of myself. That sacred space.  I had or have no regrets. I am free to just be.  It allowed me enhance my love of people. People who represent what is good in the other. I believe that we must love in the deepest and most purest way possible. So my reasoning made sense. To be able to open that space and share allowed me to love a perfect stranger.  I shared my life with them. (They were no longer a stranger to me) What I found in return was priceless!  I found ME all over again. So many people would have given something away they could never get back – their respect. I kept mine, and so much more.  By staying true to me, I knew there  was enough truth and love in me to sustain a friendship and having no regrets.

I am not perfect, but I believe in being truthful to the point of having people exit from my life intentionally. Not because, I don’t like them, it’s that I love them enough to say goodbye when it was time.  This friend, walked into my life not only teaching me something but wanting something in return. What I got was a real lesson in LIFE. And it’s all about Time!

The Story goes like this…. – Well….it’s time. You made it time. Your actions made it time. When you find yourself making excuses.. it’s time. When you find yourself talking the same talk and your walk is missing it’s gait it’s time. When you having a reverberation of a previous conversation it’s time.  The important thing here is that if you can’t be truthful with yourself….who can you be truthful with?  Timing is everything…

Lesson number three….. Sometimes we see things, we want to see in people, but as we continue to grow we learn to see the truth in people.  I am thankful for that truth because it allowed me to see the real YOU.  A friend told me once that  I was to good for some people. They were right. Loving you allowed me to see that. The saddest part is that so many  people go through life playing games with their lives and others. They miss the message… that love (In its purest form) was knocking at their door and they didn’t answer.  Friendships are so important. 

I have come to realize, that of all the places I have been,  have lead me to be where I am today. I moved into this new town 4 months ago and the other day I recognized a place I had been some 15 years ago. I love when that happens. It tells me, I am where I am meant to be.

Six months ago I visited a new place….It was just for a moment. One moment that I would give anything to have again.  Perhaps in time…..but its not now. And I know that.

I am settling in to a new kind of life… and it’s mine.




My Quote of the New Year

Camilla Says……Go into 2014 with your heart open to new possibilities. Your eyes open to see the beauty and truth of your life before you. Your mouth in a state of rest so that you may hear that which is meant for you to hear. Then act…..accordingly.

The beauty of a woman and aging

The beauty of a woman seems to change as you age. At least that’s what I am experiencing. I have notice that at 49 that so many women are looking for alternatives to defining beauty and aging. I always thought that beauty is natural and that it comes from within.  Perhaps there is more to the story….

As of late  –  I have become accustomed to having more lady friends. I am recognizing that this can also relate to beauty  of being a woman and aging. Learning to truly appreciate the other woman for who she is.  I can now at 49 appreciate that in it’s full sense.

I certainly wasn’t one to have so many woman friends in my younger years – as they annoyed me to the point with their constant bickering, slighting comments of one another and not accepting of me being me. I cared not for that type of companionship.

I cared for the easy go lucky conversations without all the drama. I am not one to deal with all the drama. The She said details of daily life wasn’t and will never be my cup of tea, and I am a tea drinker.  I took to asking out-right these questions of the day only to find myself without female companionship. I was okay with that for well into my forties. It’s not that I didn’t love women.  I didn’t love some of the baggage that came with being one. There is equal baggage with being a man I am sure – I suspect I can just ask that question and have them answer. But not without all the testosterone to go along with it. The EgO identifier…. I call it.

I of course was a Tom boy!  Dresses were absolutely YUCK until my early forties, except for having to where them on occasion (my military days, and special occasions) that require my sure distinction of being a lady.

So What changed?